You want a beard you need a beard.
You’ve seen what beards can do
The confidence, the joie de vivre
But which beard is for you?
French fork, Chin puff ?
Cheeky Latin wedge?
Soul patch, Neck muff?
Thick bucholic hedge?
Intellectual goatee beard?
Cultivate the shrub
Nautical, or boaty beard?
Join the beardy club
Surfy beard or folky beard?
Fluffy pubic fuzz?
Black, blond, ginger beard?
Find the beardy buzz.
Meet up with your beardy friends
In a beardy bar
Talk about a beardy band
Name a beardy star
Scratch a little, stroke a little
Stroke a little more
Twist and preen and plump and prod
Yes, that’s what beards are for
Look into the mirror
See what you can do
Who’s that bushy beardy bear?
That beardy bear is you!
Masculine believable
Trustworthy and fun
Wholesome, wise yet vulnerable
Oh feel what you’ve become
Now customise, accessorise
Yes, strike a beardy theme
A pipe? Perhaps, a Breton shirt?
Go on; go on, some skinny jeans
Now out, out, out into the world
And execute your bearded plan
Embrace your bearded destiny
Become a bearded man!